Discovering the proper accomplice may take a whole lifetime. Some individuals uncover their highschool sweetheart who brings all of them the best way to the end line. Others discover themselves looking for that relationship effectively into maturity. Nonetheless others are by no means capable of finding the proper match.
It takes time to really perceive the qualities an individual desires in a potential accomplice. It may be the failed relationships of the previous or priceless remedy classes that uncover the proper beliefs we search.
In a r/AskReddit thread, an essential query was posed: “What’s your unconventional ‘I would like this in a accomplice’ that you’ll not negotiate on?” Folks provided up some actually distinctive and insightful opinions.
Dinosaur bones.Photograph credit score Canva
“The Dinosaur Check”
There could be quite a few particulars that sign compatibility. One constant thought was shared intelligence and perception methods. A 2022 research in Stanford Drugs discovered that marital relationships have been extra profitable when companions shared comparable cognitive processing. Relationship happiness was affected by larger synchronization and comparable neural response occasions.
Listed here are a few of the extra intellectually inclined responses:
“That is bizarre, nevertheless it’s a query I all the time ask straight away: in the event that they imagine in dinosaurs. I as soon as dated a man so non secular he didnt imagine they existed as a result of they aren’t talked about within the Bible. Now I ensure that they’ve the minimal degree of intelligence.”
“Has to share my annoyance at historic inaccuracies.”
“I would like a accomplice who loves studying, not their very own dogmatic interpretation of actuality.”
“I’d argue that flat earth is an order of magnitude worse… Whereas with the spherical earth, I’ve finished the analysis. I can see the moon, solar, and a few of the planets are spherical. I haven’t got adequate a telescope for then all I have been out within the ocean. I can carry out the thought experiment ‘if gravity would not exist, and the whole lot simply falls down, why do i fall sooner than the bottom when i bounce’ and ‘why hasn’t all of the water fallen over the sting?'”
“I used to be coming right here to say ‘they have to be prepared to study’ however this sums it up completely.”
“If I used to be on a date and anyone requested me if I imagine in dinosaurs I would be like ‘you imply do I imagine in dinosaurs reaching their objectives and goals?'”
A bounce and juggle.Photograph credit score Canva
“Particular Set of Expertise”
Some individuals are just a bit extra uniquely proficient than others. There could be bodily presents or habits which have developed skills the everyday individual could by no means purchase. A 2025 research within the Nationwide Library of Drugs discovered that participating in novel actions can scale back boredom and enhance relationship high quality.
“Okay. Its kinda bizarre however I discover juggling sizzling. Theres one thing each completely mesmerizing about it and the entire having the ability to focus and focus so effectively is only a loopy activate. My accomplice doesnt do it usually however lord once I catch him doing it. Mmm.”
“i really like bizarre hobbies! doesnt matter if im into them in any respect – i’ll get pleasure from it! harmonica taking part in, figurine portray, aquascaping, mushroom rising, unicycle using… its the unashamed ardour that will get me. Properly, that and the truth that i’ve my very own bizarre hobbies”
“As somebody who unexpectedly crushed on three separate males with circus and French clown coaching in my 20s: I do know precisely what you imply. Invite me to face in your shoulders on the finish of a date?”
“Often I juggle issues like potatoes or tennis balls to verify I nonetheless can. I additionally juggle in entrance of individuals as a celebration trick. I all the time thought that it could be amusing at greatest and a foolish factor that individuals will attempt to see if they’ll do it as effectively. I by no means thought that it could be a activate for anyone.”
The widow.Photograph credit score Canva
“Widow meets Widower”
Discovering a connection by way of shared traumatic experiences, some argue, is a priceless profit when looking for a accomplice. A 2025 research in Sage Journals reported that “dual-trauma” {couples} revealed elevated emotional difficulties, relational dysfunction, and intimacy points. Here’s what some Redditors needed to say about it:
“As a widow, I really feel like I would want a widower. It looks like we would each be a bit extra understanding of one another.”
“I feel one of many largest challenges is not only empathizing with the loss, however understanding that you could be by no means take their place.”
“Divorced is just not the identical as widowed- I promise”
“For perspective I used to be widowed at 37 2.5 years years in the past . Left with three youngsters ages 5 to 16. His dying was sudden. I’m now 40 and have an incredible man in my life . Was by no means married nor had youngsters . He has taken us all on with nothing however love and kindness . He even honors their father and his reminiscence. Typically, somebody with only a form mild soul, with no background in something like yours , comes alongside! So whereas widowers could perceive higher , some who haven’t been down that very same damage highway perceive and go above and past too !”
“I can think about how arduous it could be with a non-widowed accomplice who begins feeling insecure in regards to the deceased partner, evaluating themselves to them, and so forth. Then the entire eradicating remnants of them in the home factor. I would not be capable to deal with that.”
“I am a widow (5 years) in a two-year relationship with a widower (3 years), and it’s good for us. Our late spouses are an essential a part of our lives, and we speak about them (and even to them) ceaselessly. We perceive the grief of not solely shedding our beloved spouses, but additionally shedding the longer term we deliberate with our life mates.”
Overlooking a mountain journey.Photograph credit score Canva
“The Cell Adventurer”
Folks can get a bit stressed if they don’t seem to be allowed to get out into the world and stretch their legs. A 2021 research in Science Direct steered individuals drawn to journey and journey confirmed total improved psychological wellness and considerably boosted temper and life satisfaction.
“I would like somebody who both understands and helps my want to often disappear into the mountains for days on finish, or will do it with me.”
“I disappear yearly into rural India. Retains me sane the opposite 11 months. It is non-negotiable. I save all 12 months so it would not financially have an effect on anybody else. My husband is welcome to return with me if he desires and we are able to afford it.”
“I additionally work remotely, so I can transfer 12 months after 12 months. I do not suppose residing like that 12 months spherical is within the playing cards for me, however an excellent break once in a while the place I can get away from all of it whereas nonetheless working can be so peaceable.”
“Yup. I am going on all day bike rides some occasions. Ex stand up at 5 and bike to the subsequent state line after which take the great distance house. My husband informed me after we first began courting that his buddies thought I may be dishonest. He informed them that I truly was understanding”
“There are only a few individuals on this planet who I’ve met who I may tolerate alongside facet me disappearing into the mountains nevertheless it’s good to see that it’s not such an unusual want”
“Initially this prompted some insecurity with my present accomplice however after he joined me just a few occasions he understands it now. I simply must disappear into the wilderness.”
Seems like 6 toes beneath the covers.Photograph credit score Canva
“Love is a Potluck”
For some, there could be solely two individuals in an intimate relationship. Others need the flexibility to have a number of companions. A 2025 research in Phys.Org investigated which sort of relationships are extra profitable. It concluded that unconventional relationships are simply as satisfying as monogamous partnerships. A wholesome relationship construction shares comparable traits, akin to honesty, communication, belief, and clear boundaries.
“I’ve by no means been open to non monogamy once I’m in a dedicated relationship. I am both single and do no matter or I am all in.”
“Human relationships haven’t any set guidelines, of any form. Those we made up about romantic relationships being a definite type of relationship, and about intercourse being an intimate exercise that’s fully distinct from different intimate actions, are made up. In fact they’re completely different, however they don’t warrant one other algorithm fully simply because they’re a unique factor.”
“I do not do monogamy, that is the primary bar to clear.”
“Unconventional? I suppose some individuals discover my requirement for polyamory/ or on the very least some type of moral non monogamy unconventional, though I discover it regular.”
“I need a accomplice who will a minimum of be all the way down to go to a swingers membership with me.”
“Bow chicka bow wow!” media0.giphy.com
“Some Random Wants”
Folks can maintain a variety of distinctive needs. These emotions usually decide whether or not somebody is extra prone to enter right into a relationship. Listed here are some extra out-of-the-box concepts provided by Redditors:
“I really like watching interval exhibits and googling alongside to see what actually occurred.”
“I solely date mathematicians”
“Means to make respectable potato salad.”
“I search for the flexibility to make pancakes.”
“I can’t date somebody with a racist household.”
“They gotta be like, unquestionably an asset not a legal responsibility in a zombie apocalypse”
“Free cartilage within the tip of their nostril so it wiggles slightly after they discuss.”
“He must have a lot physique hair individuals ought to query if he’s actually human.”
“Left my final girlfriend as a result of she did fully open something… i hate having that tin foil cowl beneath the lid to the bitter cream. Its now a requirement, and the very first thing i ask about anyone i date.”
“Sleeping in separate rooms. I’m an especially delicate sleeper and for the lifetime of me can’t go to sleep if another person is within the room.”
“For me, it is concern of birds. What a freaking flip off it’s to really feel your man flinch whereas making out as a result of a chook in a cage chirped.”
“I can’t be with a person who wears pointy-toed footwear. Or boots. It’s only a intestine feeling. I simply can’t belief a person with witchy toes.”
“How they drive is absolutely essential to me. In the event that they tailgate, have highway rage, or pace up when individuals attempt to cross them, I’m out.”
“Gotta like horror motion pictures. I spend a number of time watching or studying horror.”
Two individuals sharing a milkshake. Photograph credit score Canva
No matter your specific quirks and wishes, bringing them to the desk early might be in your greatest curiosity. A 2025 research in College Lab Websites discovered that telling the reality, particularly about delicate and even doubtlessly threatening matters, contributed to stronger relationships. Honesty is a extremely valued advantage that advantages all relationships, even when the reality could damage.
